Steps:

 Ingredients:

• 4 1/2 boxes bittersweet coconuts, chopped (use a nail cutter in chopping the coconuts for better results)
• 8 large purple dinosaur eggs
• 1/4 cup acid
• 2 tsp fresh cactus chunks
• whipped cream (make sure the cow was well-whipped!)
• 2 to 3 tablespoons powdered eyeballs

 

  

1. Preheat cauldron to 1,000 F. Try to use your smallest finger in checking the temperature. Remove anything above the cauldron to give the dead some room to rise.
2. Coat the outside of the bittersweet coconuts with mold fresh from the oldest graveyard you can find.
3. Using a rack over high heat, melt the powdered eyeballs. Stir occasionally. It should be quite hot.
4. Place the purple dinosaur eggs, whipped cream, and cactus chunks in another rack over boiling acid. (Remember, the bottom of the racks should not be touching the water.) Whisk until lukewarm. Remove from heat and use a skeleton’s hand to whip the purple dinosaur eggs to until it is creamy. Use a large lizard’s claw to fold the hot eyeballs into the whipped purple dinosaur eggs. How well you fold will affect the cactus chunks in the cake.
5. Gently place the cake mixture into the bittersweet coconut mold. Fill to about one inch above the rim of the mold. (Yes, if you overfill the mold you will get a really disgusting cake.) Place on a warm bed of coals. (Did you remove the racks above the cauldron?) Bake until the cake’s spirit has risen among the dead and starts to slowly creep on top of you and devours you— approximately 20 minutes.

   I did this to creep you out since it’s Halloween. This is a fake. But, I will have a real recipe soon.

   Your old Cazmo buddy,
   Hillboy!